Stupid Is as Stupid Does

I was just thinking about some stupid things I've done (only a small fraction, otherwise this would be a lengthy task) and laughing about it so I figured since I need to make a blog entry I might as well write about a few. The title of today's entry comes from Forrest Gump and I didn't really understand what he meant when he said it in the movie and I still don't but then it helps set the tone of this piece.

As a youngster I was very self conscious, never wanting to draw attention to myself for fear of somehow looking bad in front of others. I still feel this way but it was more extreme in elementary school. When Halloween came around and all the other kids were excited about the costumes they'd be wearing to school that day for the Halloween parade, I'd be filled with anxiety because I didn't want to wear a costume and thus call attention to myself. But since everyone was wearing something, I would get a cheap plastic mask from the grocery store and wear this uncomfortable thing when it came time for the parade around the play yard.

Well one year I got bold and had a bright idea for a costume. Not a store-bought one like most, and not one that was sewn by my mom. I would be a ghost. I'd wear a pillowcase over myself with two holes cut for my eyes. So that's what I told my mom I wanted to do. I don't remember much else except that particular Halloween I went to school with my ghost costume in a bag and then dutifully (and even excitedly) put it on for the Halloween parade.

I felt like I finally blended in with people (never having realized that not participating in something draws more attention to you than if you do participate and thus blend in with the crowd) and also thought my costume was pretty good. We marched around the yard and that was the end to the festivities.

It wasn't until years later that I happened to remember that Halloween and then started laughing to myself because here I was, a student at an elementary school in south-central Los Angeles located near Western and Exposition (an area that was nearly all Black), parading around wearing a white sheet over my head in front of a bunch of what must have been horrified parents. Of course I had no idea who the KKK was and I guess neither did my classmates; the adults must have been tolerant knowing I was just a naive little kid but boy was I stupid. I don't know why my parents let me wear that costume, either!

Stupid time #2: As I mentioned I was very self conscious so I hated drawing attention to myself. One day our class attended some boring play at the Shrine Auditorium (must have been Peter and the Wolf or Peer Gynt or something like that). It was the first time I had been there and to me the rise of the rows of seats upwards from the stage seemed alarmingly steep. From where we sat I felt like we were way up in the air, perched on the edge of a cliff; leaning too far forward would cause me to tumble down to the bottom row.

Well, I sat down in the chair and thought it was quite uncomfortable. Not only did the seat not feel good but I also felt high up which only increased the sensation of being on the edge of a cliff. For most of the performance I sat there, sort of wiggling around in my seat trying to get comfortable and also looking around at the rest of the audience wondering if anyone else was feeling the same way I was. Then, almost at the end of the play, I discovered that the seat of the chair had not folded down all the way and I was actually sitting on the edge of the seat. Oh, so that's why I seemed to be towering above everyone else! I slid down into the now-comfortable chair and breathed a sigh of relief when the kid sitting next to me turned and asked, "you were kinda high up there, huh?" I just gave him an embarassed smile and slunk down to watch the rest of the show. But at least I was now comfortable. All this because I didn't want to draw attention to myself by getting up to reseat myself or look at the chair to see what was the matter. Talk about stupid..

Then time number three took place when my dad took me to his company Christmas party. Yes back then you could call it a Christmas party and no one got offended. Of course I got a lot of attention, being my dad's boy and all, and of course I didn't like this but what could I do. I wandered around looking at the trays of food, none of which really looked that appetizing to me.

Finally I settled on a sandwich tray that had submarine rolls, cold cuts and condiments. None of the meat or condiments looked good (I was such a picky eater) but the roll looked appealing. So I picked one up and took a bite but it didn't taste like I was expecting it to taste. I decided I didn't want it so after making sure no one was looking, I just put it back down on the tray. There it sat, a sandwich roll with a bite taken out of it sitting on the tray. I can imagine what people must have thought as they passed by and saw it there.

Anyway, those are just three of the many stupid things I did.. one thing leads to another and now I remember more. I'll just post them up later, as if anyone cares.